Thankful Thursday

I'm going to try and do this on a regular basis.  I've been pretty down this week and I really do need to remember how very much I have to be thankful for.

I'm thankful to have a sassy, yet very well behaved little girl compared to a lot of kids I know.  She makes my heart smile and I love her dearly.

I'm thankful that I live in a place where I can enjoy the changing seasons.  Yes - I bitch and moan about winter every freaking year, but when you get right down to it I'd be sad to miss the fall and spring.  I love this time of year. 

I'm thankful for my ex.  Yes... strangest statement ever, but I am.  I'm thankful that I have a very amicable divorce and that he and I were able to remain friends.

 

I'm thankful for a very cool and understanding boss.  She is amazing to work for and I feel lucky to know that someone truly has my back at work.  That's a good feeling. 

 

I'm so thankful with a renewed relationship with my favorite aunt. 

 

 

What are you all thankful for today?  

TWENTY YEARS!

How is it even possible that I graduated from High School 20 freaking years ago! 

I don't usually share to many pictures of myself on this here bloggy, but THIS?  Way too good not to share.

The BFF that I mention on here constantly has been my sidekick since we were 10 years old and I'm going to be 39 next week.  That's a long damn time to have her in my life and I wouldn't change a thing.  

Here we are our senior year (20 years ago) and earlier this summer. 

I'm so lucky to have her in my life and..... DAYUM we look better now!  Love you, BFF! 

Changes

I've had it with the dating game... I am exhausted, beat up and just D.O.N.E.

 

The "newbie" that I had posted about awhile ago?  I don't even have the words to describe what happened with that one.  I hit a new ultimate low in the dating game.  He was seemingly perfect.  Smart, funny, adorable, good family, great job, sweet to me... then he dropped a bomb of EPIC proportions on me about two weeks ago.  I haven't decided if I want to discuss it on here, but it was 100% a deal breaker for me, so he had to go...  

It's just tiring.  I put all my heart and soul into getting to know someone... I start to let them in a little teeny tiny bit and BAM!  Sucker punched every time!   

Yesterday I interviewed for a new job within my company.  No one around me has any clue this is even a possibility (Hi BFF, sorry I haven't mentioned this!)  It's a job I know I would enjoy doing and I'd be very good at it, but it's a job that would change my life in many ways.  Right now I'm in middle management but can leave work at work and I only travel for fun. 

That would change completely.  I'd become the girl tethered to my phone/email and gone from home at least 2-3 nights a week.  This position would more than double my pay (which is a good thing) but at a cost.  I would have NO time to date as the nights that I'd be at home I'd want The Stinker with me.  My "free" time would be spent in a hotel in the cities around my new territory - SEVEN states in the Midwest.  Yeah... rewarding, but very exhausting. 

I interviewed for this job because I'm ready for a change.  I feel like maybe I want to be more focused on my career and myself and less focused on what a debacle my social life is.  I want to be married to my job for now and less worried about finding the one. 

This all may be "moo" as I might not even get the position, but even if I don't I will be making changes around here.  Watch out!


  

Just gotta have faith....

I finally did it! 

About two weekends ago the BFF and I went back to Iowa for our hometown Summerfest party.  It's a beer tent kind of weekend that we try and never miss.  It's fun to see peeps from High School since neither of us live in the area.  Let's be honest... we also go home because we both look way better now than we did back then so it's fun to flaunt it a bit.  Yes, we are "those" girls.   

On Saturday afternoon we had an appointment to FINALLY get the tattoos that we've been talking about for what seems like years! 

About 13 years ago we both got our first tattoos together (I got a small sun on my right ankle, she got a different kind of sun on her back shoulder) and we decided it was time for some more ink.     

So after a few beers for courage, I made the BFF go first and she did great!  I on the other hand wanted to die.  If she'd had been honest with me after she was done about how bad it hurt (I think she has a MUCH higher tolerance for pain), I'm not sure that I would have gone through with it. 

Once I was done sweating like crazy and trying not to barf or cry, I realized it was 100% worth it.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE it and I'm so proud of myself for actually doing it.  Faith is my daughter's middle name and I really have had a lot of faith in my life.  I am so in love with everything about it. 

BFF will randomly send me a picture of hers (also on her wrist) with a text that says, "Hey... remember when we got these BAD ASS tattoos?  We rock".  That my friends, is good stuff. 

Newbie





My girlfriends and I went out for some drinks last night which is always a good time.  The interesting part of the evening is that a guy who I've been casually dating for about 2 months joined us later in the evening.  This is BIG SUPER ZOMG EXCITING news for me.  Before he got there, we ended up talking about the last time they met someone I was dating.  I realized it's been longer than I care to admit since I had anyone worth introducing in my life.  Dry spell?  Party of one, please. 

When the discussion of my past dudes came up, and with the help of some liquid courage, they started telling me what they really thought of the people I've dated over the last three years.  Ouch.  What I don't understand is why don't they tell me these things when I'm in that moment and it's really happening?  I do realize I probably wouldn't have listened, but I wish they would have at least tried!   

After discussing the pros and cons of the few people I dated, BFF admits that "the one" I dated is the only person she ever really truly saw me with long term and one of the few I dated that she really liked herself.  He's the first one I dated after splitsville and I royally screwed the pooch on that one.  WHY??  I wish she'd shook the shit out of me back then and made me realize what I was throwing away by being a total fucktard at the time.  None of the other guys (except for one she HATED) really had anything wrong with them per say, she just didn't see us together for evah.      

All in all BFF really liked the newbie (gotta come up with a name for him in case he sticks around) and she was impressed with how the relationship is going so far.  We are taking it slow and enjoying "dating" without being serious and moving too quickly, which is usually my MO.

We'll see how this all plays out..... wish I could say my heart was more into the whole thing, but maybe that will come with time.  A house full of cats are still a very real option for me. 

Summer

I always seem to end up with one song each summer that becomes our summer jam. 

I love having an anthem for each year and then hearing that song later and remembering all the fun times we  had.  

Springsteen by Eric Church has taken the sweet spot for my friends and I this summer. 

I love the song.  I love the lyrics.  I love the things it makes me remember and the way I feel with those memories tumbling around.   

I don't really have a love from when I was 17 that I think about, but there are some loves in my life that do come to mind almost once a day....

"If bumped into you by happenstance
You probably wouldn't even know who I am
But if I, whispered your name
I bet there'd still be a spark"

"When I think about you, I think about 17,
I think about my old jeep
I think about the stars in the sky
Funny how a melody sounds like a memory
Like a soundtrack to a July Saturday night
Springsteen."

Happy Summer everyone!

My mother would be so disappointed

The BFF and I are heading back to our hometown next weekend and after what seems like 2 years of discussing our potential tattoos I think we are going to finally do it!

We each already have one (mine is a small sun on my ankle, means nothing important it was pretty and I was young - 'nuff said) and want another. 

BFF is getting her two daughter's first initials intertwined on her wrist.  Should be very dainty and pretty. 

I was going to get the word "Faith" on my wrist, but now I'm on the fence.  Stick with me.....

Faith is my daughter's middle name and through my life (dog attacking me, losing both of my parents, my divorce and starting over) I've had to have a lot of Faith.  For multiple reasons it's the perfect word for me.  

I like the font on "believe"

After thinking I had totally made my decision I found this. 

This is the Celtic Motherhood knot and I lourve it!  I am very Irish.  I was just in Ireland (loved it!) and I wanted my tattoo to have something to do with my amazing daughter.  It's perfect.  Now what? 

I don't know where I would put this one... back shoulder?  Stick with the wrist?  GAH!  Help!!