I can honestly say that a couple of times since I've been divorced/single I've (semi) intentionally screwed up a new relationship. It's been awhile since I've done this, and I may not have known it at the time, but that's exactly what I did.
Perfect example is the very first person I dated after the X and I split up. I was hardly out of the X's house before I was totally smitten with the new guy. Hindsight is always 20/20 as we know, and I can say with complete certainty that I fucked up that relationship on purpose. I was a hot mess from the get go. Deep down I was in no way ready to get into something serious. The part that sucks is that he was a really great guy. The BFF and I have said many times over the last few years that if I'd met him now, at this point in my life, we'd be amazing together. He was really good and I was newly single and very very bad.
I wonder if that is what's happening in my life right now... but this time I'm not the saboteur. Cpt Ron seems to be douche-bagging it up lately. I wonder if he's pulling an "emily" and fucking things up because he's not ready for a real relationship. Without getting into his person life too much, he's fresh out of a divorce and from the beginning that (and other factors) have made me a wee bit nervous. Nervous enough to run away? Nah... but nervous enough to take a small step back.
Has anyone else ever done this? Messed up your own relationship because you weren't ready for what was before you? Do I run away or give him the time and understanding to get through all of this while I wait patiently... Decisions, decisions....
My relationship with a soldier went south when he returned from Iraq. Long story. And it's all documented on the blog. :)
ReplyDeleteTiming is everything, truth be told. That... and listening to your gut.
Good luck.