Raw

There are times that I wonder why I'm even putting forth the effort to try and meet someone amazing.  My life is pretty damn awesome but after a week like this - I have NO IDEA why I care about finding a partner to share my life with.  It's too much work and I'm tired of getting my heart stomped on. 

 

I met someone about 2 weeks ago... adorable, very successful, great family, 36, dark hair and eyes, pretty short, and witty which is my kryptonite.  For our first date I met him at a super pretentious but delicious restaurant downtown.  We shared a very expensive bottle of wine and had one of those nights where time stood still.  We talked and talked and talked.  Before we knew it the restaurant was kicking us out and we found ourselves walking around downtown hand in hand.  At one point he pulled me towards him, put both hands on my face, told me I was the most amazing and beautiful person he'd met in a very long time and he kissed me.  Really kissed me.  I went into full on "girl mode", my knees buckled and my heart literally skipped a beat.  It was an amazing moment.  We ended up back at his loft and talked and kissed until way too late (and no, we didn't do that!).  It will forever go down in the history books as one of the VERY BEST DATES I've ever had.  He said all the right things, he was a total gentleman, he was sweet and caring and thoughtful - it was 100% perfect from beginning to end. 

 

We made plans to do something about 4 days later and he ended up cooking dinner for me in his loft that night.  It was again one of those perfect nights where I wanted to pinch myself the entire time.  It was fun and easy and comfortable.  It felt like we'd been doing this dating thing together for years. 
 

The next week went by and I didn't hear much from him which was fine.  I was busy.  I know he's busy.  No big deal.  We had plans to do something Saturday night.  I got a text that day about 4pm saying he was sick and wasn't going to be able to do anything.  He said he was sorry and that he still wanted to see me before I left for my vacation (about 5 days later) but that night wouldn't work.  That's the last I've heard from him.  Literally.  I asked how he was feeling on Sunday - nothing.  A quick text to "see if he was alive Monday" - nothing.  At that point I stopped trying.  He obviously doesn't want to hear from me and while it's making me INSANE in the membrane not knowing what happened, I'm not that girl that will blow up his phone when it's very clear he wants nothing more to do with me.
 

I don't like being this girl who is visibly hurt and vulnerable.  I am crushed and I feel totally broken right now.  I don't know that I will ever find someone who will stick around and truly love me for me.  I refuse to settle but it seems the ones I want never want me back. 
 

It's a tough pill to swallow and for now I'm just done trying... I used to think I was "a catch" that could land just about any guy I wanted and lately with all this heartbreak I realize that isn't the case.
 

Done.  I'm just totally and completely done.   

Is this thing on??

I've always been a fair-weather blogger and for the past few months I just haven't had the time or energy to come here and bare my life and soul.  Not a huge amount going on.  I've basically been enjoying my new home, getting the most out of every second of summer and trying to find my happily ever after.  Hey... 2 out of 3 happening isn't bad, right?!?! 

This summer was one of the best I've had in years.  I was lucky enough to fine a new "family" in a NW Iowa resort town where I've been going every summer since I was a short little red headed person.  This summer was different, though.  My aunt and uncle rented a home in a community that has become my happy place.  I met so many amazing people and spent so many drunk fun days and nights on the lake with family and friends.  I wouldn't trade a second of this summer for anything in the world.  I've always been a summer girl and even more so a water girl being happiest by a lake, ocean or swimming pool.  Recently Aunt and Uncle decided to buy their own piece of paradise and let their rental home go.  Guess who snatched up that rental faster than a fat kid at a cake buffet.... THIS GIRL!  I will have my very own summer home from April to November next year and I can't wait!  I see a TON of miles being put on my car and almost no weekends at home in Omaha.  It's going to be epic. 

I also spent a fair amount of time this summer trying to "get back out there" as my friends put it.  Yeah.  Dumb decision.  I'll go into specifics in later posts (I could wring about 2947 posts on my shitty dating life and all it's ridiculousness) but for the most part it was a total disaster.  Now it's winter ish and back I'm in hermit mode I want to punch anyone in the throat that is happy and in love.  We'll see how that plays out... heh. 

All in all - dating life aside - things are good in this Sassy Momma's world.  We'll see what's next?!

The Helpers

I was stunned and saddned to hear about the tragedy yesterday in Boston.  My constant thoughts and prayers are with everyone involved.  This has to stop. 

 

The Stinker is getting older and as a mother, it's becoming a part of my life to sit down and talk about these terrible things that happen around us.

We were at Disneyworld this past December when the Sandy Hook elementary shooting happened.  I honestly think being at Disney submerged in the "happiest place on Earth" bubble during that horrific week was for the best.  The Stinker is 6 years old and in first grade.  She is at exactly the same point in her little life as the children that lost their lives that day.  I was able to hug her that entire week and appreciate the amazing little person I have by my side.  We were able to talk about what happened and how awful it was for those children and their families, but we also talked about all the people that came to their aid and how when we hurt, sometimes the best thing to do is help others.

Now we have yet another tragic event to discuss.  This morning I had the news on for a very brief time and she happened to catch a snippet where they mentioned the 8 year old boy who was killed waiting for his dad to cross the finish line. 

I'd really like to stop having these discussions with my 6 year old - but sadly in this world we are living in - it's a part of being a mom.  We talked again about the people running towards the bomb site yesterday and how the "helpers" are the real heroes in this awful time.

My prayers and thoughts are with everyone affected in Boston yesterday.  

A few little obsessions

A part of the mid life crisis I think I'm having has been trying new things that are normally out of my comfort zone. 

I'm the first to admit I'm a total creature of habit.  I don't totally freak out when plans change, but I really do prefer order and everything in it's place.  I buy mostly the same food, I always shop at the same clothing stores, I buy the same makeup and haircare over and over, blah blah blah... You get the picture.

Lately I'm trying to be creative and mix things up!! 

I started watching a lot of You Tube Videos on makeup and hair care products.  Being a pretty low maintenance girl, I have a tough time spending a lot of money on this stuff.  I'm getting better though...

Here are a few of my favorite purchases so far. 

Dry Shampoo... I posted on Facebook last night that I'm totally late to this party, but good lawd I love this stuff.  I've been meaning to get some forever and finally went to Target last week to pick this little beauty up.  It was recommended by some hair product "snobs" who said it really is just as good as the pricey stuff (like Bumble and Bumble or Big Sexy Hair). Best part??  It's THREE dollars a bottle!!  Yes! 



Blush.  Ok... I know it's redic that this is exciting for me, but I've never ever ever worn any.  I'm a natural red head and I've always thought adding MORE red to my face seemed super crazy so blush was never on my radar.  I realize now I need to use more everything on my face.  More moisturizer, bronzer, blush, ect.  I'm learning ya'll, I'm learning.  This one is Elf brand from Target which is seriously also THREE dollars (do you see a trend here? Yep - I'm cheap)




Bobbi Brown Gel eyeliner.  I love bold eyes and that is my one feature I really do like about myself (my eyes are a super strange color) so I always love to play up the eyes.  This eyeliner is fantastic and works great for smoky eyes or even for daytime.  Love.

Naked2 Palette.  This is another thing I am in love with.  I was that girl still using the small teeny eyeshadow brushes that come with makeup.  Yep, 1990 called and they want their applicators back!  I've branched out to actually use brushes for all my eye shadows and I love the way they work and the looks I can get with these colors! 

Lace shorts.  I sure hope I'm not too old for these because I love them, but I'm keeping the tags on for now.  They will be my goal shorts.  They look ok on me right now, since I've been working out more my legs don't completely suck, but I want to feel even more comfortable (skinny) in them with some cute wedges.  I really do love them.  (that's not me in the pic... just FYI) 

So there you go!  That's what I've been blowing waaayyyy too much money on!  What are your obsessions for this spring? 

Mid life crisis

Yep. 

 

I turn 40 freaking years old this year and I think I've had my official mid life crisis

 

AND I LOVE IT!!

 

In January I sold the house I had only lived in for 3 years and built a brand new house.  About 2 weeks ago I decided (after thinking about this even before the house thing) to buy a brand new car.  Like a 2013 new car.  Neither of these things were absolutely necessary, but dammit they sure been fun! 

 

I can honestly say I have never been happier.  Everything seems to be falling into place for me and I feel like 2013 is going to be MY year. 

 

I had a lot of stress in 2012 that I didn't get into on here, but to say there has been a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders would be an understatement. 

 

I never realized how awful the lay out of my old house was until I finally moved out.  The feeling of being totally content with every aspect of my new home is so amazing. 

 

I will try and get some house pictures up soon.  I've never been great with decorating (I just don't have that "eye) but with the invention of Pinterest and being able to stalk some blogs with great decorating ideas... I'd say I'm actually doing ok!  It's been blast! 

 

 

 

 



Happy Ending

THE SICKNESS took over my house the last few weeks and sadly there has been a lot of couch time happening when I should be doing so many other things. 

Anywho... One of the movies I watched a few times while making a permanent ass imprint in my couch was "He's Just Not That Into You".  As I watched it for the 4th time in one weekend this ending monologue really jumped out at me.  It absolutely says it all. 

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up.  If a guy punches you, he likes you.  Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. 

Every movie we see, every story we are told implores us to wait for it; the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule.

But sometimes we are so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs.

How to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. 

And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy.  Maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. 

Maybe the happy ending is just.... moving on.

Or maybe the happy ending is this : Knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment YOU NEVER GAVE UP HOPE"

SOLD

Well, I did it.  I really did it. 

About 4 months ago when the BFF started talking about the new home that she and her family were going to build in 2013 it got me to thinking about my own home situation. 

I own an adorable house that really is perfect for The Stinker and I... or is it? 

The kitchen is the smallest in the history of homes with 4 full size cabinets TOTAL.  Now I'm not much of a cooker, but I do love to entertain which can't happen in my current house due to space.  There are a few other minuscule things that annoyed me about my house, but nothing major. 

I started looking at houses that I could build in a neighborhood closer to my X (yes, I know it's weird) and to The Stinker's school.  With the ridiculously low interest rates right now I could build a brand new home worth about 20K more than my current place and still have the same mortgage payment each month.  Did I want to do it?  HELLZ YES.

Soooo... I listed my home with a realtor (ended up hating her, but whatev) and started the whole process.  Per the builder I was using, I had 90 days to get my home sold - now mind you this 90 days was going to include Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year - not really the best time of the year to sell.  I had a long winter ahead of me.

I started the building process with the new house.  I chose an beautiful lot with trees behind me (no back neighbors - EVER) that is close to a park.  I also chose the interior features and most importantly picked out a BEAUTIFUL kitchen that I can't wait to see in person.  

Then I had to wait.  I really started to lose hope that this would ever happen because I wasn't sure my house would sell in 90 days.  I had 10-20 showings some weeks, but no offers.  I really only told a few people what I was trying to do because I didn't want to be that girl crying wolf about the new beautiful house that I would end up never living in.

Well, guess what???  I accepted a great offer on Monday and it's officially SOLD!!

I get my new pretty house!!!!